Dissecting Understanding Part IX: “Let It Go…”

Yes, “Let It Go.” Not just an overplayed song from one of the most popular Disney Movies ever, but also a rather clever turn a phrase that has been apropos for many an occasion.

Anna and Elsa at our Frozen Winter Ball

However–even though I just helped Lollipop put on her “Frozen Winter Ball” barely a week ago–I am not talking about that particular interpretation. I’m not talking about awesome ice powers, although it would be cool! I am not talking about letting go of something that you have been hiding and suppressing for far too many years, and raining it down on people with fairly tragic results. If I were to equate my “ness” with Elsa’s powers, then yeah….tragic would just about cover it.

No, in this case, I am talking about simply letting it go. Stop trying to keep a lid on it, stamping it down and burying it–only to have something trigger it and have it flung at unintended victims who usually only have a very small part in that original hurt.

I am an angry person. I am a grudge holder. I am so full of hurt, pain, and anguish at the injustice of what we call existence, that it still surprises me when someone accuses me of being “such a nice person.” If you have read any of my previous blog posts, then you have an inkling as to why this is so. But even I can admit that my biggest problem is love–love lost, unrequited love, the death of a loved one, not receiving as much as I give…yup.

I am also a Leo, a lion. One of the biggest things a Leo has in common with their real-life counterpart? Pride. Of course, I wish it was like the animal kingdom, and I just got to love and protect my family and homies while I laze about in a field all day…but no. Leo’s are loyal and protective, but they are also vain and sensitive. When someone hurts my feelings, they hurt my pride–in my old age, my vanity is not as secure as it used to be. Instinctively, I want to either rage at them or never speak to them again, until they allow me to rage at them and I am 100% sure they not only understand my reasoning, but they fully admit to being in the wrong. The whole, “I’m right, you’re wrong!” mentality.

However, that is what this entire “Dissecting Understanding” section is about…why there are so many misunderstandings, and why we should let it go even though we may be so sure that we are right. We are all different. We are all going through our own tragedy. We all perceive the world through different eyes, and therefore we will never honestly be on the same page. It shouldn’t be a cause for alarm, it should be celebrated. My mama always liked that saying about how boring it would be if we were all the same. I mean, what would the internet be with debate and ridicule (haha, I wish we could live without debate and ridicule!) The point is though, that we are all different, unique, beautiful, and right in our own way–and the world would be frighteningly dull if it were otherwise.

2015 has been a year of learning for me. A year of forgiveness. It started with forgiving “the one who hurt me the most.” No, he did not let me say all that I wanted to say, nor let me rage at him until he admitted that I was right and he was wrong. Nope. It just so happened that I got into an argument with his brother, and his response to my raging was such that it made me re-question everything. He cracked a joke about my rage–long enough after so as not to anger me further, haha–by showing me a meme of a giant ream of paper with a title that said something like: “What’s wrong, Part I…” Haha! Yes, my 47-part angry text message had no affect on him whatsoever. He actually had the audacity to say, “I didn’t read it. I’m not that guy…” Now for some of my friends, that response classified him as the worst kind of person, hahaha. But for me, it triggered a kind of acceptance.

He really is “not that guy.” He isn’t wired that way, and neither is his brother. There was no possible way that I would ever fully get my feelings across to them. And, seeing as I know their father, it’s not going to change. So it came down to, did I want these two out of my life? No, I didn’t. I mean, they cannot really get out anyway–we have too much history. Like they have tattoos for my mother, type of history. Now I could ignore them and hate on them whenever they came around, but that didn’t make sense either. Turns out, when I let the anger and the hurt go, I supremely enjoy their company. I love them, and we are a weird sort of family that I don’t want to lose…

Since then, several old hurts have suddenly reappeared in my life. It has really been a will tester. I mean, I said I’d let it go for “family,” but what about these guys? Are they “family,” friends, or just persons of interest at one point in my life? Do I want to forgive them? Well, that question I answered with a, “Yes!” But the next question would be, do I want them to stay in my life? The answer to this question differed between all of them.

One, I accept that he is the way that he is–a critical, judgmental, a-hole who has always seen the glass half-full and that the person who poured it is obviously an idiot. That being said, I have faith that he could change his perspective and go on to have a very happy life, if he chose to do so. But we will never move beyond this level of friendship (which is pretty bare minimum) because he does do more harm than good in my own life. I want him to have a better life, but I cannot change his life for him. However, I forgive him, and he no longer has that power over me. He also does not have the power to guilt trip me into doing what he wants. Being the giant push-over that I am, I have decided the best approach to reigning that quality in, is to ask myself, “Will I allow this person to guilt trip me? Do they deserve it?” It has been working so far…

Two, I forgave her, a couple of times, hahaha!! This particular friend is a lot to handle; but I think that her and I can work it out. She is an energetic ball of pure sunshine (until the storm comes) that will make it her life’s mission to make sure you are out there having a good time. How can you not want someone like that in your life?

Three, I forgave, but he is not in my life.

Four…well that is the hardest one. And probably the most important one. He is the first of my major grudges….if I forgive him, all of the other grudges will be forced to fall apart. There would no longer be a “What’s Wrong Part I…” The flipside to that coin is, if I forgive him, I could love him, which of course scares the hell out of me! Four is still recent, still confusing, still secret, but is probably teaching me the most.

See, that is the thing about grudges and resentment–there is already a layer of emotional debris that is compounded upon with every new heartbreak. Anything even similar to the original is added to the pile, and suddenly you are seeing patterns everywhere. “All men/women are the same.” <—is probably a better reaction than mine—->”This is your fate. You don’t deserve more.” Either way, it is a perfect set-up for failure. Like most self-fulfilling prophecies, stuff usually turns out the way you intend for it to. And I mean that in the deep metaphysical sense, not the lies we tell the front of the brain to keep our heart from speaking it’s piece.

I am always on edge, waiting for the next shoe to drop, the next person to screw me over–probably in the exact same way that they, or someone like them, has done before. Well, I’m over it.

My New Year’s Resolution is to “Let It Go.” Let go of the past. Let go of the pain, the hurts, the loss, the arrogance, the anger, and most especially the fear. Fear holds me back a lot. Fear of rejection, death (of others, not my own), unknown, fear of looking like an idiot. But the fear is there because of my past and because I am holding onto it. This cycle has to break at some point. So, 2016–> 16=1+6=7, the faith and truth seeker. Sounds like a great year to come to terms!!!

Happy New Year!!!

Dissecting Understanding Part VIII: Perception

per·cep·tion

pərˈsepSH(ə)n/

noun

• the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses. “the normal limits to human perception“
• the state of being or process of becoming aware of something through the senses. “the perception of pain“
• a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression. “Hollywood’s perception of the tastes of the American public“

 

I would like to discuss the third bullet on this Philosophy Sunday.

(Mini-note…”Hollywood’s perception of the tastes of the American public”??? That sounds mighty ominous!! Is that why that horrible show about that one iconic family is such a hit? Because that is Hollywood’s perception of the tastes of the American public?? What a sad state of affairs….)

Perception is a fickle and capricious beast! As a whole, society’s perceptions are seemingly in constant flux–at least that is my perception–shifting from one point of view to the next, one extreme to the next, more quickly than the blink of an eye. As individuals, we seem to be either a stick-in-the-mud-sticking-to-my-guns type, a que-sera-sera type, or a “sheeple” who ebb and flow along the most-popular-perception-at-the-moment type. Perception is weird.

It has been argued that, essentially, there is no reality–only everyone’s individual perception of reality. And since perceptions are a lot like opinions–everyone has one and everyone’s is different–it is hard to argue the existence of a one true reality. Also, like opinions, everyone seems to be positive that their perception is the right one.

This battle that perception causes, is, in my opinion, the biggest contributor in any argument. “You said this, this is how I perceived it, and now I am mad. ” Followed with a, “Yeah, I did say that, but it means this to me, and I cannot believe that you could perceive what I said in such a way.” Or, “This is how my people perceive the world. This is what we believe in, and we are 100% right, and you are 100% wrong. Therefore YOU change your opinion!” Followed with, “Well that doesn’t make any sense to me and my people. Obviously you guys are crazy, and unless you change, you will be destroyed.”

To dial it back to a more mentally manageable level, how does perception affect your day to day life? For myself, I find that other’s perceptions of me seem to vary quite a great deal. Being one who strives to be the walking epitome of “Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover,” it is a personal goal of mine to contradict those perceptions. I want to look like a veritable badass, but in reality I am sweet, almost too sensitive, and pretty friendly. I want to look cool, but really, I am hardly “on fleek.” I can be a punk, a geek, a goth, an emo, a slightly unprofessional-looking professional, a rocker, a furry, a valedictorian and the class clown–but in reality, I do not fit fully into any of these categories.

Sometimes the perceptions of different social groups surprise me! In my group of hooligans, although I am one of the oldest, I am one of the tamest. One of the least experienced, and kind of a puss when it comes to some of the more “hardcore pastimes.” (For example, the mosh pit! I have never been in one!! Or fighting–I have never been in a fight, even though several people have tried to start one with me.) However, my stories being told at the museum where I work–man! People seem astounded by my badassery!

I do kind of feel that reality is based on your own perception. And your perception–your world-view, if you will–can be changed. Therefore you can change your reality. However, you cannot force someone else to change their perceptions. What are perceptions made of? The thoughts, opinions, nature/nurture, and reactions of the individual. I cannot see the world through your eyes, because I was born with mine; and visa versa.

Although I am sure the governments of the world would like us all to be on the same page, I don’t think there would ever be an agreement on who, in fact, carries the right belief. I mean, we purposely have different perceptions in the United States–because that is what democracy is all about! Therefore…is world peace possible? Is there a way to collectively alter everyone’s perceptions? In that case, would there need to be one single answer? Would it not be more simple to just agree to disagree? I am rather against a “sheeple” mentality, so I do not think a single collective perception would be ideal, but what do I know? Only the reality that I perceive…

 

You Are What You Think: Likes, Dislikes and Change

Have you ever had something come up and you instinctively disliked it?  Was this dislike based on an actual reason, or was the dislike merely because it wasn’t what you were expecting?  Why does something changing have to be about liking or disliking?

Humans have a complicated relationship with change.  We can find it disturbing if it comes upon us unexpectedly, but if things stay the same for too long we get bored.  If we don’t have any perspective or control over our reactions to the changes in life; than we spend our time constantly rocketing from one reaction to the next, a helpless passenger on the roller coaster of life.

I was told recently that you have to divorce yourself from the outcome of a situation and focus instead on doing your best and that is the only way to come through a troublesome situation unharmed.  It was exactly what I needed to hear.  The situation I was going through seemed completely dreadful at the time and I really had no control over it, or any way to make the bare facts of it better.  The sad part, for me, was that I had been looking forward and working toward this moment for quite some time, and now it here it was and it was not at all what I was expecting.  My only option at that point was to try and focus on my attitude toward the situation and not the situation itself and that is what I tried to do.  I will admit that I could have done a better job, as it was I stayed pretty distraught about it for a few weeks.

Looking back now my instinct is to be hard on myself for this lapse but that would be starting the cycle over again.  So instead of beating myself up and disliking my reaction to this change, I’m gonna think about how to do better next time.  Life is never going to stop changing and I’m never going to stop working on myself and those things combined give me something to look forward to.  So bring on the change, life, and I will try to see it for exactly what it is, neither good nor bad but possibly exciting!

Friday the 13th, A Real Life Horror Story

11-13-2015….

Liam Dineen FB

Seems like my entire FB newsfeed is blue, white, and red in support of Paris, France…..

Fox 31 News

Mitch Alexander FB

FaceBook

Fox 31 News

Good Housekeeping FB

Stacy Clement FB

FaceBook

Everyone’s Profile pictures look like French Flags…Even Elvira, Mistress of the Dark…

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark FB

Forget where you stand. Forget the political beliefs you carry, forget any opinion on religion you feel, forget what side of the second amendment you stand on….

Remember that lives were lost….

sstorm0730.wordpress.com

The Next Installment of More Funky 80’s Movies I Love!!

This is the third installment of my 80’s movies list. I am done trying to put them in some semblance of order, hahaha! It drives me bonkers trying to decide which ones should be on this list, and which ones belong on the next list. Ahhh! I love them all!!! So without further ado, here is a short list including some more of the greatest movies the 1980’s had to offer!! (Please note that I know that there are a whole lot more….and if I had to actually put them in order of favorite-least, some movies that will appear on later lists definitely rank higher!! This is hard! Hahaha!)

• Back to the Future 1985

How could you not love this movie?? The whole idea of being able to travel back in time is a wonderful concept! Except going back into the time that your parents met and inadvertently messing up their meeting…that gets a little dicey! Not to mention horribly uncomfortable when your mom suddenly has a crush on you!! However, in trying so hard to get his parents together in the past, Marty McFly made his parent’s life so much better!! My BFF recently told me that she loves watching movies with me, because I get so invested in them, hahaha! I gasp, yell, and worry about the fates of the characters. This one was an awesome movie for that. I mean, Marty’s very existence depended on whether or not he could get his parents back together!!

I love the actors in these movies! Christopher Lloyd is absolutely amazing! (My favorite character of his? Uncle Fester of course!!) And Lea Thompson is just the cutest! (My favorite of her roles to be seen later on this list!) And Michael J Fox….what a fox!!! I was a fan of Family Ties, and I had always thought that he was so handsome!!

• Back to the Future Part II 1989

Out of the three (and since this is an 80’s list, part III will not be on any of these lists), Part II is my favorite! I loved the future they portrayed! I will admit that seeing as that date has officially passed, and 10-21-2015 is definitely not as cool in real life, watching the movie now makes me a little sad, hahaha! If you read my post about that day, then you know that I am thankful that we do NOT have flying cars! Hahaha! We cannot be trusted! But the big disappointment is 3D movie technology! Man….I would love to see Jaws like that!

When they go back into their present time in 1985 and everything is different and chaotic and horrible…this is where my little movie heart went wild! How can they fix this? What happened? Biff now runs the whole town? And he is that big of an obsessive lug-head that he used his fortune and power to kill George so that he could marry Lorraine? Well, thank goodness he waited until after the kids were all born! It was definitely a nail-biter moment for me!

Then, he has to go back to 1955 to fix this screw-up?? Holy Cow!! That ending though!!! Love it!!

PS Little Elijah Wood!!! Love it!!

• Batman 1989

This was the first superhero movie that I really enjoyed. First of all, three of my most favorite people are affiliated with this movie–Michael Keaton (Beetlejuice), Jack Nicholson (I just love him!!!), and Tim Burton (My all time favorite director!!). As with most of Tim Burton’s movies, this one had a dark tone and crazy emphatic music, with a nice splash of humor that seems to lighten the mood of his darkest movies! In my personal opinion, Michael Keaton is my favorite Batman, and Jack Nicholson is my favorite Joker. Why? Their face! Literally, that is what I like the most about them. Michael Keaton’s face is humorous without him even trying. I feel this helped the role, because Batman is such a dark dark hero anyway! I mean, he watched his parents be murdered, that can mess a person up! (You think?) I feel as if Keaton kept the character dark without taking it over into the edge of the abyss. You could tell he was pretty solitary, but he still had charm. Bruce Wayne was still approachable! Not all Christian Gray like Christian Bale made him seem. And Nicholson….with that incredibly sexy and sinister smile…oooh boy! He was certifiably crazy and creepy! Love this movie so much!!

• Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark 1981

LOVE this movie!!! This was the introduction into the non-stop-adventure world of Indiana Jones! What was a professor of archaeology doing being a treasure-seeking fiend? I don’t know, but I love him for it! The opening scene to this movie is so iconic and so epic…from the sweat-inducing chore of attempting to settle the balance between the golden statue and a bag of sand all the way to being chased by a giant boulder…classic!! And of course, his battle against the Nazi’s and their pursuit of the Ark of the Covenant. A splash of romance and the unlikely hero that this professor must become in order to save this beautiful woman…wonderful! My other favorite scene would have to be the ending, of course, when the Nazi’s are idiotic enough to open the Ark, and everyone who is watching has their faces melted off!!

• Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom 1984

This one is my personal favorite…probably because I thought that Willie was so pretty, had a wonderful singing voice, and the plot involved the rescuing of hundreds of little children! I also loved Short Round! Why wasn’t he in the other movies? Indy meets Willie in Shanghai, and Lao, a crime boss, attempts to murder him with poison. Willie finds the antidote, and subsequently gets both rescued and abducted by Indy, in his attempt to live. With the help of that trusty 11 year old, they all manage to escape with their lives…only to have them all put into danger again when the board a plane owned by Lao! The real part of this story begins once they enter Mayapore and are entrusted to find the sacred stone of the Shivalinga, and all of their children! Pankot Palace may sound nice, but they all find out that that is not the case!

My favorite scene is still the dinner scene! I would not eat a single thing! Live baby snakes? Giant bugs? Soup with eyeballs?!! And, the family favorite, chilled monkey brains for dessert? I honestly think my brother, father, and I will eventually get that tattooed one of these days, as our family thing, hahahaha!

• Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade 1989

How can you not like a movie with Sean Connery in it?

In this one, we are taken back to Indy’s youth, (played by the most amazing River Phoenix, RIP), and discover how he fell into his life as the Indiana Jones. Catching some thievery in the act, Indy attempts to save the artifact because it, “belongs in a museum!” On a train full of circus animals, we discover how Indy came upon some of his more amusing quirks–like why he hates snakes! Or how he came upon the whip–yeah, lion taming will make you want to be very proficient in the whip wielding department! Lastly, we know where he got his hat.

Another fantastic discovery–his relationship with his father–who also happens to be single-minded, focused, and obsessed with an ancient artifact…the holy grail! Again, Indy must fight Nazi’s in order to keep his father out of their hands!

My favorite scene is the ending…how Indy had to go through the trials and find the holy grail in order to save his father. Good thing old dad was so obsessive! Those trials were horrendous!

Also, I’m not sure how many of you have seen the old VHS versions…but there are some awesome commercials on those things!! Cue the opening music!!

• Ghostbusters 1984

Probably one of the greatest movies of all time!! The amazing comedic duo of Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd, both unforgettable members of Saturday Night Live, come together to fight a beastie that everyone fears at least a little! Is your slumber troubled by bumps in the night? Who are you gonna call? The Ghostbusters, of course! Now, I do believe in ghosts…we have lived in some rather freaky places (for example, the house of a man who allegedly molested children and hid their bodies in the walls in the basement), so seeing this movie gave me an insane sense of hope. What I especially like is that the process for getting rid of the ghosts has nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with science!! Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not anti-religion! It’s just that if the ridding of ghosts depended on my faith, then I would be terrified! But with science, well, that makes it a little easier. I do not need a strong faith basis to follow directions! Okay, point this this towards ghost, don’t cross the streams, move ghost towards trap, close the trap! Got it!!

Loved the “big bad” in this movie…secret cult, haunted apartment, people turning into dogs, and a giant Stay Puff Marshmallow Man!! So funny, some pretty dang scary scenes, and toasted marshmallow for dessert!

• Ghostbusters II 1989

The four unlikely heroes are back. Unfortunately, the city of New York was not as grateful as they should have been when they saved the entire city (and caused massive amounts of damage) just a short time ago. They are no longer in favor, and they have basically gone in their own directions. However, the return of Dana Barrett has brought them a new case. It seems as if her new little baby, Oscar, is being pursued by malevolent pink slime! What do they do? Where is it coming from? Oh, that creepy dude in the painting that is hanging up in the museum where Dana works? Oh, yup.

What I liked a lot about this movie was that it kind of played on the fallbacks of New York. The city is kind of known for both for being mean and for being indifferent. And it is this attitude that feeds the malevolent pink slime that is flowing in an old transient system underneath the city. Thankfully, though, the slime can be reprogrammed. What does it need? A little sweet talking and some awesome music!!

The best part? Saving the city again…this time with the Statue of Liberty!!!

Dissecting Understanding Part VII: The BFF

pintrest

I am amazingly blessed. Being a solid and open person has enabled me to create quite a few strong and meaningful connections with several different people. You already know my business partner, Lollipop, whom I have only known a short while, but with whom it has already been established that we are lady soul mates. As wildly different as we are, the core of our being is so similar that we immediately recognized it in the other. And if you have read any of my blogs, then you also know about “my boys,” my “brothers from several other mothers” (although they all called my mother “mom” too). The core group is my family–I don’t need to see them all of the time to be assured that the love is still there, that it will always be there, and that I am not allowed to ever feel friendless and unloved! And visa-versa. Beyond the core are even more that I am really fond of, and I am sure the feeling is mutual. At work, I am pretty well liked, and usually hear, “Oh my gawd! I love you!” at least once a day, hahaha! In fact, I have several very good friends from a few places of employment. At the risk of sounding arrogant and full of myself, I am definitely not lacking in the friend department! I can make friends fairly easy, fall in love fairly easy, so when you enter the fold, I love you genuinely.

But this blog is about that friend. You know the one that I’m talking about, right? Yup! The BFF!!! (Obviously we became friends in the 90’s hahaha!) Best Friend Forever, besties, sisters from another mister, my heterosexual lifemate, whatever you want to call it; I have one! Desiree + Rachel = Best Friends Forever!! Currently, Desiree lives over 1,000 miles away, *big heavy sigh*, but I did just get back from visiting her!

I’m not sure how it is for everyone else, but in my world, understanding the relationship that “Rita” and I have is a big part of understanding me. Seeing the two of us together, being able to handle the two of us drunk together hahaha, seeing the depth of our feelings for Buffy the Vampire Slayer and 90’s pop music…it is a lot! And it is important. I don’t make excuses about it–Rita is my BEST friend. Besides my mother, she is the only one who will be at the top of that list. Forever. Didn’t I mention that word before?

Rita and I met in 1993 on the school bus; she in third grade, me in fourth. I was the second stop, and she, at the time, was the fifth stop. In a rural area, this meant that we spent a lot of time on that bus!! I cannot remember who spoke first and what was said, but I do remember when I realized that we were serious friends–she had tried a new hairstyle, and the kids on the bus were super mean about it (as they are prone to be), and the violent visceral reactionary feeling I had about these effers making fun of my friend, assured me then and there that we were besties!

1993-Present….that is a long time! We did everything together! We made up dance routines to TLC and Immature, she endured all of my crazy favorite movies, we reenacted our favorite scenes as dramatically as we could, she taught me how to walk in a straight line (hahaha), fell in love with Clueless together, watched every awards show or Miss America, became full-fledged boy-banders together, started our own pop group and sang covers and copied dance moves from our favorite pop stars (TuiT forever!!!), ghost hunting, driving, the dating of best friends, became enraptured Buffy nerds….we even got kicked out of church together, hahaha, for not leaving each other’s sides!! (We were in different grades, after all. We “did not need to come back if we were only there to socialize!”) We had planned out our entire lives together!! Of course, nothing went as planned, but we are still together, hahaha!!

I sincerely believe that best friends are important. They are that one person who really know you, who you cannot not be yourself around, who knows that you are crazy and will still drop everything to be with you when you need them. Rita and I, of course, have had our highs and lows. We have both done things to each other that seemed to be the “very worst thing imaginable and there was no way our friendship could survive that!!” It did, we did. We have slid out of each other’s lives and come back only to find the other in a situation that made us both go, “Really? You? You are doing that? Color me startled! But I love you anyway!” And guess what? We both eventually left those things, hahaha, once we were back in each other’s lives! We can lie to ourselves, but you can’t lie to your best friend…not really…

Now, just a few days away from her entering “the 30’s” with me, we have definitely grown beyond being capable of petty fights with each other. Spending a week with her and her family was so incredibly easy. If I could, I would live there with her, in her guest room, sharing a bathroom with her daughters, for the rest of my life. Rita would totally be down, and I believe her husband would too, hahaha! Because I make her that happy and I am good with the kids, and my papa raised me to be a happy little handyman, which he is not, hahaha! But that is one thing Rita and I never got to do together, was have our own place. However, I was engaged on my 18th birthday…so I can see why it didn’t work out, but it still sucks. And even today, we cannot feasibly work out even living in the same state, dang it! But we are together. 1,000+ miles apart and we are always together.

Thank you Desiree, for being the bestest friend ever. Thank you for loving me despite all of my ‘ish. And thank you for all of the amazing memories! “You complete me!!” Hahaha! TuiT Forever!!!

“A part of you has grown in me. And so you see, it’s you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart.” ~Facts About You

An awesome blog that helped inspire:

http://www.puckermob.com/relationships/signs-you-and-your-best-friend-are-meant-to-grow-old-together

You Are What You Think: Judge Not

What  you think is the true basis of your whole personality, it directly informs your feelings, words and actions.  In this series that  I’m calling “You Are What You Think”, I am going to explore why what you think about is so important and the causes and consequences of different thought habits.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote this quote during the 19th century and it is as true today as it was then and for a very obvious reason.  What we think and how we view things are completely intertwined. A liar, for example, is unable to trust others because he always suspects others of being as deceitful as himself.  Ken Keyes put it another way during the middle of the 20th century…

This is why it is so important to pay attention, not only to what you say about others and what you say about yourself, but to what you put into your brain and what you think about or how you process that stimulus.  If you continually let your baser impulses run wild, if you don’t repeatedly and thoughtfully pursue empathy and rationality, you really have no basis on which to judge others or the world in which we live.  You cannot say “I am a good person and that person is bad”, because your own perspective is biased.  Thoughtfulness or mindfulness in your approach to life is the only way to be sure that your perspective is as accurate as possible and when you view the world in this way, you are often less inclined to judge others, because of your increased awareness of what you do not know about that person’s feelings or motivations in acting the way they do. To round this quote session out, here is one from a favorite TV show of mine from the 21st century…

When you act or speak in ignorance of what another’s circumstances might be, you reveal that ignorance to the world around you.  Or to put it one last way, from an even older source than Emerson, “Judge not lest ye be judged.” Another problem with spending so much thought energy on judging or disparaging a situation or another person is that you are wasting time and energy on a thought process that will ultimately leave you, in no better position than when you started out. A better use of your time might be to acknowledge the issue and then turn your thoughts away from the problem itself and who’s to blame and toward finding the best solution to the problem going forward.

Good News! Never Underestimate The Power of Hope!

Would you have clicked on this post if the title had been bad news?

I turned on NPR this morning just in time to hear a gentleman say that you will never get someone to change their mind by yelling at them.  That comment tied in perfectly with this blog that I was already planning.

So would you click on a bad news link?  Maybe and maybe not, but don’t we all have enough negativity in our own situations without getting more of it from others?

Life is too short to be constantly focused on the bad stuff but unfortunately it’s human nature to obsess over the things that go wrong.  It takes effort to focus the mind on the good stuff.  It takes effort to count your blessings.  The reward from that effort is that you eventually train your brain to see the good without effort and you train the people around you to think of you as a source of inspiration and positivity.

When I became a stepmom I did a lot of research on child rearing and one of the suggestions I came across repeatedly was to not overuse the word no.  Instead of constantly harping on what the child is doing wrong and the dire consequences that will follow their mistakes, try to tell them what the right thing to do would be and the positive consequences that result from good decision making.  If you are only telling them what not to do, you leave them with no way forward, they are stuck knowing that what they did was wrong but with no information on how to make it right.  This same principle applies to every sort of human communication in our lives. It would work quite well in romantic relationships too.  So don’t be a nag, be a cheerleader!

The take away is this: if  you have a message that you want to get out there to the world, if you want to change peoples minds about an issue, I would suggest you take the advice of the quote above.  Don’t lead through fear or righteous indignation.  Don’t tell people what they shouldn’t do.  Tell them what they should do and why it would be better for them if they did!  Never underestimate the power of hope!

10-21-2015…Is it What You Expected Marty McFly??

As most of you should know, today is the day that Marty McFly arrived in the “future” to save his son from a harrowing fate!

How do we measure up?

I will admit that I am not the best person to write about this particular subject, because, although I love the movie, I know VERY LITTLE about technological advances, haha! So this is definitely from the persepctive of a small-town girl comparing her own world to that of Marty McFly in 1985’s Back to the Future Part II.

Not so much with the flying cars, but like my buddy and I were just discussing, I do not believe people as a whole are stellar drivers with all four wheels on the ground, let alone flying en masse in the air!!

However, we have made HUGE strides in getting away from fuel! Electric cars, cars that run on vegetable oil….we’re getting there.

3D movies…well ours aren’t that cool! I work as a projectionist, and we mainly play 3D movies…and they have come a long way….but still not that cool! However, I do like that Jaws was relevant this year, what with it being the 30th anniversary and all.

We do not, (thank goodness), have computerized self-adjusting clothing. But I did hear that Nike was trying to come out with self-tying shoes!

This is how his “self-adjusting” jacket actually worked, haha!

And I still think their style is a lot cooler!!

We do have hoverboards! But they are pretty exclusive, and from what I understand, you have to have metal flooring.

We do have games that do not require the use of your hands! But even the Wii and Xbox can go a little bit further…

We have phones in glasses. Again, not that popular.

We do have dehydrators/rehydrators…not that cool…

Teleconferencing–totally have that! And you do not even need a TV!

We do not all have fax machines in our homes, though. I imagine it would be a lot harder to hide a piece of paper “yelling” that, “You’re Fired!!”, rather than an email like we would get.

Tablets are a thing, and so are digital signatures.

Thumbprint identification is also a thing…although I am still glad that we do not have these instead of doorknobs. And I did find this picture during my search, and it has the auto-dog-walker and super glow-in-the-dark paint on the sidewalks. The dog-walker is pure laziness, but the paint would be awesome! Just soak in the sun all day, and shine brightly at night? Sweet!

shakefire.com

Personally, I cannot wait for this thing:

I loved that movie then, I still love that movie now. Although Spielberg and Zemeckis may have dreamed a little too wildly, I believe that their dreams helped shape the directions of the dreams that led us to today.

Carpe Adventure–Sometimes Adventure Involves Zombies!

This past weekend, three of my friends and I went on quite an adventure! Our friend, Alana K, is an aspiring artist with the company Bad Brakes Entertainment. They had set up an “After the Zombie Crawl” show, to be held at II Tekilas in Thornton, Colorado. Now, as many of you already know, I am a BIG supporter of local musical talent, and I was more than willing to make the drive in order to support my friend!

Boy….what a night!

We got lost on the way there….my poor non-smokers had to deal with me smoking in the car…but it was my car! *Apologetic Shrug*

First of all, an aspiring lawyer, a wannabe coroner, and whatever the heck I am, walking into a Mexican Bar for a hip-hop concert…we stuck out like sore thumbs, hahaha!! My other buddy happens to be an amazing chameleon, so she was just fine! Her and I have gone to a lot of different concerts together, and she never fails to make new friends and have a good time! (interesting side-note, the first punk concert I had taken her to–The British Invasion–she even ended the night swapping shirts with an amazing punk, right there in the smoking section! I kissed a member of the Phantom Rockers…we had a great time!) As far as the other two, Lawyer and I usually go to things like karaoke and county fairs; while the Coroner and I go to Nerd Nites and Colorado Avalanche games. Needless to say, we were a little out of our element, hahaha! And the outfits, hahaha! Lawyer looked like she should be at a symphony, while Coroner should be at a wine-tasting complaining about the jazz music (her own words, hahaha!). Me and Chameleon were pretty much sexy zombies–which was the theme, haha, so we were okay!

Photo Credit–Kelii Mitchell

The music was bumping, and the TV’s had “The Walking Dead” best zombie death clips playing, and us girls were screaming at each other to be heard, hahaha! Then BBE is ready to start their set, and Alana K takes the stage.

My royal shortness shot these videos, hahaha!

“F**k you, and f**ck that b**ch too! I wish you would try me! I wish you would try me!” This song is titled “Try Me.”

And, of course, my favorite song, “Chaotic Love.”

What I love about Alana K is the attitude behind her songs. That beautiful voice singing such in-your-face lyrics! Love it!!

Tiphini the Trio, also performed. And aside from having an amazing outfit, she also has an amazing voice. Smoky and sexy! This video is a duet, “Slow Down,” with Alana K.

On the way home, we got stuck in a horrible traffic jam–construction on the left, rollover on the right. My Lawyer and Coroner rubber-necking in the backseat, while ICP’s “How Many Times,” is playing in my head, haha! And the next morning, my water pump blew. I don’t think my car had fun!

However, despite the awkwardness, despite getting lost, random smoking-section conversations, bad accidents and idiotic drivers, I had an AWESOME time!! Bad Brakes Entertainment has some true talent under their name, and I cannot wait to see what comes next!!

From Alana K’s FB

To check out Alana K:

https://www.facebook.com/AlanaK01

From Tiphini’s FB

For Tiphini the Trio:

http://www.facebook.com/DepthsOfTiphini

From BBE’s FB

Bad Brakes Entertainment has several other amazing artists! I suggest checking them all out!

https://www.facebook.com/Bad-Brakes-Entertainment-235263436611567/