“I Don’t Need Anyone”, The Great American Lie

I was watching Benny and Joon the other night with the husband and at the very beginning of the movie, one of benny’s friends is talking about a conversation with his wife, where the wife asked if he needed her, and this apparently really freaked the friend out.  That got me to thinking about why a married person would be freaked out by the idea of being needed or needing someone else and I realized that this whole idea of needing other people, is kind of a touchy one in our society.  We are all supposed to be rugged individualists, bravely facing each new dawn, certain in our ability to handle life’s challenges unaided and unafraid.

This adoration of self-reliance is really one of the founding concepts of American life.   In the beginning we decided to strike out to a strange new world far away and once we got there we decided that we didn’t need anyone telling us what to do and American history has been about a series of new frontiers and expanding boundaries ever since.  We as a people love the frontier and in our minds these frontiers are populated by tough people who don’t need anyone.  But the story of our frontiers are not stories about lone people doing it on their own.  They are about groups of people, couples and families and communities surviving together and helping each other.  Those families needed each other in a way that is completely foreign to us now.  They literally could not survive and certainly could not thrive alone.

In this day and age, needing people is seen as weak. If you’re truly successful you’ll know it by how independent you are.  If you have everything you want what need do you have for another person?  After all everything you want you can provide for yourself.  It is one of the most unfortunate aspects of modern society that we are so afraid to need someone.  How can you be a real team if you don’t trust or need the other members?  Yet we try over and over again to form relationships where we refuse to need and feel trapped when we are needed and we wonder why they fall apart.

I love the quote above because it’s so real.  Those lives aren’t built on standing alone and yet also living some fairy tale happily ever after.  It’s talking about life and work and how rewarding those things can be when you have someone else to stand with you.

Lean Into the Pain or How Avoiding Unhappiness Won’t Make You Happy

I was having dinner with a friend of mine and her parents a couple of weeks ago and they were asking for advice on quitting smoking that they could pass along to their son who is a smoker.  The only thing that I could really think of to tell them was to lean into the pain.  A couple of days later I was watching a movie with Funky called Hector and the Search for Happiness (which is completely awesome I highly recommend it) and there was a line about how avoiding unhappiness is not the road to happiness.

The thing is, unhappiness is just a part of life.  Without unhappiness how would we appreciate happiness?  How would we even know what happiness is?

Having a risk averse way of looking at things gets in the way of being happy!  Why would you pursue a route that is hard but ultimately rewarding if avoiding struggle or moments of unhappiness is your main goal?

In fact, I would even go so far as to say that surviving unhappiness is one thing that can make you really happy.  When I look back on my own experiences I see this play out over and over again.  If there was a project I was dreading because it seemed really difficult or I was insecure about my ability to handle it, I would put off dealing with it.  I was a classic procrastinator.  The result of this, was that I went around with this thing hanging over my head and in the back of my mind, worrying me.  Then I would put the thing off so long that some kind of deadline would pass and the situation would get much worse and much more complicated.

When I finally disciplined myself to take care of the dreaded thing right away, no matter how much it sucked, I would be rewarded with a sense of accomplishment and renewed faith in my own abilities.

Here’s another way of saying the same thing.  I was watching a show called The Mentalist and the main character on the show told someone that they would be a lot happier if they didn’t think so much about what they do and don’t like.

I completely agree.  Just by saying, I don’t like being unhappy, you are ensuring that you will be unhappy.  It is a self fulfilling prophesy.

For example: people think, “I don’t want to quit smoking because it’s going to be really hard and I won’t like that.”  Then they finally talk themselves into quitting and they think “yep, I was right this is hard and I don’t like it”, then they start thinking “Is it worth it?  I’m so unhappy and quitting smoking is supposed to make my life better but it’s making it worse because it’s so hard and I’m so unhappy.”  Then they start smoking again and guess what?  They are still unhappy, because they are doing something that they know they shouldn’t be doing and the cycle starts again.  The only way to free themselves from the cycle is to lean into the pain, to just accept it and go through it and pursue their only chance at happiness which lies on the other side of unhappiness.

I’m not saying people should pursue unhappiness for it’s own sake or that they should wallow or obsess over things that make them unhappy.  I’m only saying that sometimes unhappiness is unavoidable and in those situations it might be better to submit of your own free will and truly experience it and then move on, instead of avoiding it and thereby allowing it more control over your life than it deserves.

The Thing about Quitting Smoking is…

That it’s like the Fleetwood Mac song “Landslide”.

“I’ve been afraid of changing cause I built my life around you, but time makes you bolder even children get older and I’m getting older too.”

This song fits so perfectly with my story because I started smoking at fourteen while still a child and have lived over half my life as a smoker.  I would wake up every day and plan everything around smoke breaks.  I looked forward to them and got pissed when they were delayed. If I was having a shitty day the one thing that could turn it all around, or so I believed was having a sweet, sweet smoke.

But here’s the thing I am getting older and smoking half a pack a day at at thirty makes you feel a lot more of a hag than smoking a whole pack a day did at twenty. Add to that the toll it takes on your face and energy.  I may be getting older but I’m still young, I shouldn’t get winded after playing on the playground with the kiddo for five minutes.  I should’t get constant headaches from not drinking enough water and smoking too much.  I shouldn’t choose to smoke at lunchtime instead of feeding myself and come home hangry from work.  I’ve always considered myself bold and nows the time to put up or shut up.  I know this, it takes a landslide.  The very earth beneath your feet has to move in order to root out something thats been putting down roots for seventeen years.  When you look at it that way you see it can be an opportunity to turn your whole life around.

When you remove the central focus of your life it leaves a vacuum. A void that in the past I filled with depression and despair and I inevitably I went back to smoking, to save myself from what seemed like the more immediate threat.

The key to my success so far this time around is that I’ve filled the void with changes I’ve always wanted to make anyway.  I drink water constantly and suck on vitamin c drops in the car.  I get up early with my hubby to eat breakfast and work out instead of getting a morning smoke in.  On breaks at work I eat veggies, fruit and nuts and suck down even more water.  In my head I worked up to quitting by reminding myself of all the ways smoking was making my life worse and now I meditate on the opposite.

Wouldn’t you know it, everything in my life is actually better because I don’t smoke!  Even more amazing the sky didn’t fall, my personality didn’t collapse, I didn’t turn into a raving bitch and my smoker friends still think I’m fun. Goes to show what crazy lies we tell ourselves when we really don’t want to change.

Nature Inspired Products from FunkyLollipop

More red cap toadstools!

I love these nature inspired products with a little FunkyLollipop twist!  The earrings above with the cute, retro-looking graphic on the geometric background is one of my favorites.

These butterfly earrings are so chic!

These butterfly earrings are from a vintage, French, natural history print and I just adore them!  I found several others in the same style so more are coming soon.

The seventies are back and beautiful!

The seahorse in these earrings are from another vintage natural history print, I love the way they pop against the colorful seventies inspired background!

These earrings and pendant come from the same medical journal illustration.  I love the dark wood against the parchment colored paper.

All of these styles are classic Funky Lollipop!  They are beautiful and bold and a little bit odd, just like us!  Come over to the shop and check out what other new styles we have to offer.

The Thing About Quitting Smoking is….

Me on the last day of school in 2002, with my bestie Jessica, in the park next to Columbine.

You’re not just quitting cigarettes. You’re quitting the thing that made you feel better the first time someone broke your heart. The thing that kept you company while you sat on your balcony at 2 am and wrote poetry and listened to music. The thing that helped you bond with your shipmates when you went away from home for the first time and worked on a cruise ship in Alaska after high school. The thing that bonded you to almost every close friend you’ve had since middle school. The thing that you had in common with your mom at an age when most people hate their parents.

It’s not just quitting cigarettes, it’s quitting the person you used to be. It’s acknowledging that those times and versions of yourself are gone and they aren’t ever coming back.

That’s the hardest part for me. I’m a sentimental person, I get attached, and when I’m attached I really hate to let go. But that’s growing up isn’t it?

Change is a part of life and it can be a really good part. I’ve always believed that we change whether we like it or not and the wiser course is to make conscious decisions about how and why you change; so that five or ten or twenty years down the line you recognize the person you’ve become and more importantly you like the person you’ve become. So this is me, being the change, and trying to be better. Wish me luck!

Cliche Day: It’s Always Darkest Before the Dawn

It’s time for another journey into the land of clichés, to uncover the deeper meaning behind oft heard and possibly under explored sayings.

Todays cliché is: it’s always darkest before the dawn.  The quote is attributed to theologian Thomas Fuller and is usually thought to refer to having hope during the dark times, that they will not last forever and relief will soon come.

In reality, it is darkest at midnight and not right before the dawn.  This fact lies at the heart of my issue with the common interpretation, which makes it seem as though both the darkness and the light are things that happen to you and that you have no control over, just as you have no control over the sun rising and setting.

This attitude is too passive for me.  I think that it is darkest before the dawn because people often have to hit rock bottom before they decide to change things!

As human beings we often interpret hardship or struggle as bad things happening to us, when really those things are necessary for us to achieve our true potential.  Whether that be physically speaking, where the struggle of working out and controlling our diet lead to a better attitude and level moods as well as looking better and having more energy.  Or emotionally speaking, where through almost losing someone you have increased gratitude for that person’s presence in your life or when going through hardship you have increased support from friends and family.  Or intellectually speaking where study pays off with a larger share of wisdom and understanding or hard work pays off with a more satisfying and fulfilling career.

Without darkness there would be no light and vice-versa.  Ultimately whether you walk in the light or the dark is up to you and your attitude, if you want the light you will seek it and you will strive to banish the darkness.  But at the same time keep in mind that the darkness is necessary and if it has descended upon you perhaps it has done so for a reason.  Perhaps there is some lesson you need to learn or some mistake you should try to avoid repeating.  It is only by learning from the darkness that you can regain the light.

So the next time you experience a dark night of the soul don’t simply wait for the dawn to come; change, struggle, learn and find something in the darkness to help propel you toward creating a new and brighter dawn for yourself!

True Daring Comes From Within: Unleash your Inner Badass

A few months ago I was watching The Talking Dead with my hubby and indulging in a little daydreaming.  For those of you that don’t know The Talking Dead is a show that airs after a new episode of The Walking Dead, where people discuss the episode you’ve just seen, this is my version of porn, I can’t get enough!  “Wouldn’t it be cool” I said to the hubby, “if I blogged about The Walking Dead and it became so popular that I got asked to be on this show?”  His answer surprised me, he said “No, I don’t think you’d like that at all.  You hate being the center of attention and you don’t like to speak in public.”

I have to admit I was a little bit offended.  I just knew that if I ever got an opportunity like that, I would rise to the occasion.  It reminded me of when I got my first supervisor position at the theater, back in the day.  The theater had so few supervisors at the time that they just decided to have a meeting and anyone that showed up would be given supervisor training.  I showed up and I became a supervisor, but I found out later that several of the managers doubted that I would be able to speak up enough to lead people.  What they didn’t know is that when I have the authority to tell people what to do, I have no problem doing so.  I just don’t like telling people what to do when it is not my place.  I knew that I was capable though and I went on to be one of the best supervisors and was promoted repeatedly after that.

Looking back I don’t really blame those managers or my hubby for the lack of belief because I hadn’t shown them my potential.  I had grown too comfortable in my comfort zone and hadn’t pushed myself.  That is one of the drawbacks of being a self contained person, people don’t know you because you forget to let them see you.  You forget that your rich inner life is not something other people are privy too.

I’m not really as shy as I used to be because I’m much more confident in myself and my abilities than I was as a younger person.  But I didn’t just become confident in my social skills by accident or overnight.

When I was nineteen I decided I needed to get over my fear of people I didn’t know and start having adventures!  So I went to work on a cruise ship in Alaska for six weeks.  I didn’t know a soul and it was the first time I had traveled anywhere by myself.  The thing that surprised me most about the experience was how easy it was.  Don’t get me wrong, working on a cruise ship is not easy.  It was thirteen hours a day, seven days a week of really hard work.  The easy part was getting along with strangers.  Once I got past the fear, once I threw myself into the deep end with no buffer and nowhere to hide I learned that people liked me, even when I wasn’t doing things for them.  People thought I was funny and all those feelings of inferiority and insecurity where just in my head.  The people on the boat had no idea that I was shy or insecure.  I showed them a side of myself that I hadn’t shown before, a strong side, a confident side and they responded to that.  After I came home from my little adventure I used the lessons I had learned to become a better version of myself and when the opportunity came at the theater to be a leader, I knew I could do it even when no one else did.

So take a moment and think about the person you feel you are deep down and the person your friends or family might say you are.  Do those two people match?  Are you showing the world the real you or just the habitual you?  If they don’t match then maybe you need to push yourself a bit more or just focus on communicating better with the people around you.  Don’t be afraid to be brave, to unleash your inner badass and let the true you shine!

Vintage Alice in Wonderland Pendant: Our First Etsy Sale!!

Our very first sale!

After a year of preparation and almost a month of being on the Etsy site, Rachel and I are proud to announce our very first Etsy sale!

It has been a year full of ups and downs and a tremendous amount of hard work!  I can tell you that each day that passed with no sales, after the store opened on July 4th, was a dagger to the heart.  It is so hard to keep faith and keep working when you aren’t seeing any results yet.  Not that we, for a moment, thought about giving up but who doesn’t love a little instant gratification!

We have achieved so many of our goals for the beginning of our company, so here’s to reaching one more, may this sale be the first of many!  And a huge thank you to all the people who believed in us and supported us along the way!  This first sale may be a little thing but here’s hoping it turns into something big!

The whole, first sale experience was super fun but my favorite part, other than getting paid, was preparing the item for shipping.  I’ve had my shipping supplies ready from day one and now I finally get to use it all!

We always want to add a little something extra to our orders as a thank you to the customer for shopping with us.  Our first customer will receive the sweet, little box below!

This adorable bird box will hold our first sale!

I used some yellow packing material to cushion the gift box and pendant in transit.

I love that it sort of looks like a nest!

We sealed the box with our custom Funky Lollipop sticker and it is ready to go.

Lovely and all ready to go!

Now all I have to do is print a label and get a padded envelope from USPS and our first, little baby will be winging it’s way to it’s new home.  The grow up so fast, lol!

And in case you are interested in buying this adorable, vintage inspired pendant for yourself, we will have a new one on the site soon!  You can always convo us on Etsy and ask for it if you just can’t wait, but in the mean time here are some other little beauties that are on the site now or will be coming this week!  Check out our Etsy shop here:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/FunkyLollipop

Here’s another vintage Alice in Wonderland illustration featuring the white rabbit!

I love this vintage, inspired cameo piece!

These lovely earrings match the pendant we sold!

Woodland creatures are so on trend right now and this fox is a beautiful example of why!

Here’s another vintage children’s book illustration. I love the fairies, the cherry blossoms and this shade of blue!

DIY Styrofoam Head Project

I was at Hobby Lobby the other day, which is a shocker I know!  Hobby Lobby is doing something new these days and providing little pamphlets that offer different ideas for crafting projects.  I saw the image below and thought, what a great idea, but I could do it better!  I just happened to have a Styrofoam head at home to work with, so I went home and got started right away.

This was my Hobby Lobby inspiration!

The thing I didn’t like about the example the pamphlet showed, was that the way the paper had been torn seemed so random and because of that, the features of the Styrofoam head were pretty obscured and the yellowish color of the music sheets made it seem dirty.

For my version I choose three different kinds of black and white paper, one that leaned more to the white side and two that had more black in them.  I cut them into strips that were pointed at one end and than widened out so that they resembled very long, thin triangles. I then prepared a water white glue mixture soaked them and conformed them to the head.

I mostly used the whiter paper so the blacker paper would stand out.

I had to use some matte modpodge while it was sill wet to make sure the paper stayed on tightly.  I made a kind of starburst pattern with the pointy ends of the triangles meeting around the nose region and then filled in from there. To finish the back and sides I used more rectangular pieces.

Once I had covered it completely I let it dry and then realized that I could do more with the really dark, black paper to create designs on the figure.

After I added more black designs but before I added the lips.

Once I finished adding more definition around the eyes and on the sides, I decided to add some lips to really make the features clear.

It’s perfect for displaying my DIY fascinator from my wedding!

I love the way it turned out and I will use it as a prop for taking good product photos of the fascinators I want to add to my Etsy shop.

One last photo!

I think it’s so beautiful I might make a few more as décor or perhaps to sell!  Let me know in the comments if you would buy one!

Tin Can Upcycle Decor

To start off I removed the labels from the cans and painted them white with house paint.  I liked the spotty paint job, it made it seem antiqued so I didn’t do a second coat.

House paint is thicker and stayed better than acrylic or craft paint.

I used craft paint and stamps to apply the decorations.  The craft paint was thin enough to work with the stamps really well.  I used a brush to apply the paint to the stamps and that created less mess than dunking them in paint like you would on a stamp pad.

The craft paint worked better than the acrylic.

I started with several stamps but the butterfly and vintage stamp got the best results.

Paper plates: the poor man’s palette!

I think they came out super cute!  I do want to work on a polka dot one as well once I get the right brushes.

Maybe try mixing and matching the colors!

Now I use them to organize my many craft supplies.  Cute and functional, my favorite combination!